Get Gains Bro

I despise “Good vibes only.”

Name a person who has never experienced negativity and I’ll show you a weak, sheltered, lifeless individual. – Me

Good vibes are earned through consistent gratitude and honoring and overcoming negative energy. Think of good vibes as gains, and gratitude as the specific muscle. The more you exercise gratitude the more good vibes you’ll gain.

What happens when you ignore pain during a workout? You could get seriously hurt because you could be using an incorrect technique. Same thing with your mental, spiritual, emotional health. If you ignore the pain, you’ll end up hurt deeper; think festering wounds. The pain could be calling you to do something different. A little soreness is to be expected before you see those gains.

You must exercise gratitude, honor the negative energy, to get to good vibes.

Exercising can be easy for some and harder for others. It’s a commitment and must be practiced to perfection. I’m one of those people who has a hard time committing to things long term so I develop processes to help me deal when it gets rough and I want to give up.

After a series of unfortunate events, I discovered the process of exercising gratitude to achieve positive outcomes, that honored both negative and positive energy. Please learn from my experiences:

In the course of 6 months I was dumped twice, lost a grandparent, lost my car, slid further into debt, was on the verge of losing my job, and was diagnosed with an infection in my womb.

“Think positive thoughts.”

“Good vibes only.”

No (insert profanity here)… This is mega bad vibes! There’s no amount of positive thinking that can get me out of grief on multiple levels.  I was devastated when all this happened, and most of it happened in a 3 month time frame. I felt like tossing myself off of cliff. Am I supposed to will myself out of that with cute sayings that hold no true value? How about we try it my way: 4 Steps to Gains Bro.

Step 1: Do not ignore negative energy. Acknowledge what you’re experiencing.

 I don’t know about you, but when I admit I have had a bad day, I tend to want to cry. I am not good at having bad days. A bad moment, sure, a bad day… I become a mess. I said “Damn this sucks, and it’s hard. What I’m going through is really hard.”

Step 2: Express the bad energy in a healthy way. Don’t live here. Let it out and let it go.

I cried my eyes out to Adele songs. I purged all that energy. I cried about my failed relationships, I cried about my car, I cried for my body. I cried that deep, ugly, snot dripping cry. I almost vomited crying so hard. I allowed myself to feel absolutely miserable. Now this seems counterintuitive, but remember we are not going to live in this energy. We are experiencing it for what it is, and then moving forward.

Step 3: Being to exercise gratitude for little things daily.

I took a hot shower. I exfoliated, I moisturized, I gave myself a facial, and I got a good night’s sleep. “I’m glad my skin is so soft. My skin looks beautiful today. I’m well rested and that’s good for me. I’m grateful for that.” Want to go smaller? “Today I drank two bottles of water, I’m glad I was able to get more hydration than I did yesterday. I must be improving.” Little things. I started with the smallest things and that moves me from a negative mind space to neutral and eventually to positive.

Step 4: Relax the mind so solutions can come.

Relaxing can be challenging. If you don’t have time to meditate use you daily hygiene time (shower, bath etc.) to relax your physical body so your mind can relax. Just breathe. Recite things your grateful for. Allow solutions to flow. Ask for them. You can even say, “I know the solution to my problems.” Affirmations are a powerful tool to invite relaxation of the mind and solutions will start flowing.

The difference between problem solving when in a negative energy space and a neutral or positive energy space is evident in the solutions you reach.

Negative energy problem solving is rushed, panicked, and short term. Bam, you got a flat, you’re stranded in the middle of the highway, and you need a tow. Are you really going to sit there and scour pages of tow providers to compare prices? Nope. You’re going to pick one on the spot and deal with it. Short term solution .

Neutral or positive energy problem solving is patient, thought out, and more geared towards long term. You got a flat at home on your day off. Now you got time. You can think of the possibilities. You can be more patient.


It’s been about 2 months now since all of that drama went down. I’m in a happy, authentic space. My body is healed, my mind is clear, my heart is repairing, and I’m honestly grateful I went through these experiences. They made me stronger and more wise. I will never be a “good vibes only” kind of woman. I will be a good vibes are earned kind of lady.

Peace family.

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