How I Learned to be Authentic

A mantra: My authentic self, is enough. I give freely and uphold my boundaries. I am free to be my most authentic me.

I met a man who opened my eyes; different in almost every way. I think of the song “My Same” by Adele when he crosses my mind. He challenged my thought process, emotional process, and spiritual resilience in every way he knew how.

He was my very best friend and a royal pain in the ass.

It took a decade of passive aggressive arguments for the realization that changed how I relate to people. When I’m stuck in my pattern of stubbornness and strictly seeing things from my perspective, I remember, “We do not have to be the same.”

This statement, no matter how simple it seems, changed me. It means, I can be who I am, and you, dear reader, can be who you are without compromise. You and I can see things differently, come to different conclusions, and I can still love you for exactly who you choose to be.

I allowed myself to accept that I am an intricate connection of experiences, memories, thoughts, emotions and theories… and so is everyone else. Why would I want this complex, unique being to see life exactly as I do? What a waste of their personal power.

Now, I crave the differences. I feel electric when I identify new ways of experiencing life. I’m keen to “borrowing” new processes and testing if they feel authentic to me.

This is my life. Trial and “error” to discover my most authentic path. It’s that simple.

Errors are not failures. They are successes in discovering what is inauthentic. I love myself more for recognizing what doesn’t fit. I love those who succeed at what feels inauthentic to me. No envy is involved in this process. No jealousy or hatred, only awe and curiosity.

Love is compromising without being self sacrificing. I don’t mean solely romantic love, I mean any type of love you can imagine. You do not have to give up yourself to love or be loved.

Walking in your authentic path should feel natural. Those who truly love you, will support you, and if they don’t, why do you want their approval? Whoever you are, or choose to be, is perfectly enough. Be authentic and remember, “We do not have to be the same.”

XO,

Z

 

 

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