Chapter of Ishmael from the God’s Graffiti Spoken Word Project

Wandering toward destiny – Questions? – Ishmael

If you asked me for a life’s synopsis

It would begin with the lack of answers to questions

Pivotal to forming my character as a man.

 

Why couldn’t my pops just pay child support?

 

I had a good grades, I played sports,

What father wouldn’t want that?

 

As far as I am concerned it was just another missed opportunity,

Remained in the shadows.

 

Watching my mom struggle was the worst thing,

But it inspired me.

She hustled to ensure that we had something to eat

Now everything that I achieve is for her to see.

 

It may have not been un-til this very moment

That I forgave my pops for not being around,

Cause i might have turned out to be just like him,

I dedicated most of my life to being the opposite of who he was to me

Simply out of spite.

But I am Ishmael, I am free,

No longer misinformed of my purpose or identity

I just realized that parents are people too and they make mistakes,

And they are often to embarrassed to speak up so they freeze up

Hoping that the problems will fade away.

 

What I was yesterday, may not be what I want to project today.

And just as sure as my last name is my last name,

I am not the troubles or uncertainty of my past,

But instead a testimony to its defeat.

 

I am neither my mother nor my father but instead a division of the best parts of both.

Growing up I knew that society would never give me a fair chance,

Because of where I come from, because of who I come from,

So that only meant I had to work ten times as hard to share certain luxuries,

 

See there is a hierarchy in these streets

When leaders aspire the top only

To monopoly everybody

And mothers everywhere are forced to sacrifice in order to save

Their young.

During the most trying of times

How we respond to adversity, speaks volumes of our beliefs.

And for me

There isn’t a broken promise that I aint heard,

And I am still waiting on those shoes to come

Or reason s to why you didnt make one high school football game.

Life is too precious to spend it hating and hurting and in the same breath

It is too short to spend it holding on to the feelings that weigh you down.

People are either a benefit or a detriment, regardless they are lessons.

At first I didn’t understand, cause I didnt have answers to my questions,

But I walked by faith and not by sight, which allowed me to

Deliver this blessing.

I forgive you.

Now lets move on and enjoy what I’ve been missing

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