N.A.T

“I’ll tell you anything, what do you want to know,” you told me.

“I feel so comfortable with you it’s scary,” you say.

“We just fit so well, so perfectly,” comes out your mouth like a sprinkler watering my delicate flower as my heart unfolds to let you in. Letting you into my world not noticing the snake lurking around in the shadows. I laid there another piece of me being broken away and yet I felt peace come over me. You were right when you said we fit so well. I felt it 2, broken pieces being put together like plate tectonics I thought we were compatible.

Oh boy was I wrong. You were so true, so real, so honest that I couldn’t see the deceit lying behind your eyes. You were so perfect that I disregarded the warning signs. You spoke so right that I accepted the flaws. But your flaws would only attribute to my demise. Bomb teeth an explosive personality will go a long way but cannot fulfill my expectation of what my man is supposed to be. Yet you did, you fulfilled my every sexual desire.

I became impressed by you, soon after I expressed to you that one day I would be your empress. A queen for all to see. I imagined walking down the street hands interlocked but I didn’t realize I was oppressed by you. Suppressing my feelings to a hidden valley inside of me I hoped for the the sun to look down upon me and shine bright!

I wanted to be your everything, I wanted to be the first thing you thought about when you woke up and the last thing before you laid your sweet little head down at night. We got along so well you came to me when you needed someone to lean on, someone to hold you up when you were weak. And I held you high. I treated you like the king I thought you were!

Then one day I saw her. I knew she would come around at some point I just didn’t imagine I would see her. Her name didn’t matter because she had so many, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday! From the beginning of our friendship I told you not to expect anything, that I wasn’t in a place to give you anything! But I found a way to muster up all of me and I gave it to you anyway. I wanted to be your everything. I set the rules, I played the game, and I was left hurting feeling the pain! While you lived your life like all the same.

All I wanted was to be your everything because you became mine.

I didn’t even notice all the time spent, all the conversations about a future that we will no longer have together.

I wanted to be your everything.

And you just took what you needed and ran with it, whispering sweet nothings in my ear to make sure I was hooked. Reeling in the line, like a fish I desire to be set free, to make it back to the wild, my safety zone, my freedom. Free from you and your lies, your deceit and your tales.

“I’ll tell you anything, what do you want to know.” You told me.

“I feel so comfortable with you it’s scary,” you say.

“We just fit so well, so perfectly,” comes out your mouth.

But this time there is no delicate flower to water, no heart to unfold.

No letting you back in.

-NNIIAMEY

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